No Tears
by mikuridaigo
Summary: Eri Aikawa was a grown woman; she was not going to cry. Not here. Not now.


No Tears

Summary: Eri Aikawa was a grown woman; she was not going to cry. Not here. Not now**.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica  
**(Note: This story will also be posted up on my deviantart page.)

* * *

She knew that the time was coming, and it couldn't have been helped. The press was getting restless and rumors started to spread all over Japan. She wanted to ended it, but not for the company's reputation, but for Akihiko's as well.

Aikawa was already dressed in a nice navy- blue business suit, prepared with make up and her speech. As she made her way into the conference room, a familiar voice called her to stop her in her tracks. "Aikawa!"

She turned around and gave a weak smile. "Oh, morning Isaka. What brings you here?"

The director didn't say anything as he looked pass her to the conference room doors. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked looking a bit nervous. Isaka is usually never nervous, even during these conferences. But this one is different.

However Aikawa just raised her hand, still smiling weakly. "I know what I am doing."

"But… would Akihiko approve?"

Once again, that feeble smile. "Doubt he would, but I don't want anything to go out of hand." With that said she bowed to Isaka and opened the doors. Flashing lights from cameras and new crews were swarming around every single inch of the room, already yelling out questions. Aikawa ignored their presence as she walked to the podium and waited for things to quiet down. As Isaka followed in and sat in a chair on the stage, the editor gave a long sigh and wiped her eyes. No, no tears yet.

"The press may now start asking questions." A man beside her called.

Once again the invaders continued to spill out random words until one spoke the loudest. "Aikawa-san, is it true that Akihiko is also Akikawa Yayoi, the famous writer of BL?"

"Yes, he _was_." She emphasized the last word.

"Aikawa-san, and is it also true that he purposely skipped many press conferences for unreasonable meanings?" Another reporter asked.

"Yes, it's true." She answered shortly. _Why are they asking such obvious questions?_

But one reporter stood out above the rest as she asked her question. "Aikawa-san, did Usami-sensei write these books for fame or for money?"

Aikawa chuckled at this. "No, he didn't want fame or money, he wrote it for a different purpose."

"And what is that?" the same reporter asked.

"I will not answer that question."

The red-hair editor expected a different question from a different reporter, but the same one continued on asking. "Then, is it true Usami-sensei committed suicide because of the fame?"

At that moment the Aikawa almost stopped breathing. The question of death was finally brought up. She swallowed as she answered. "No."

"Then, why?"

"I-I'm not sure why." Stammering wasn't going to do her any good. She needed to be strong.

"But Aikawa-san, rumor has it that he had a secret lover. And the day of his death, he shot himself in front of a grave, with the name of Takahashi Misaki. Who was she?"

_That's right, Misaki is a girls' name._ "Those are personal matters, I cannot answer them."

"A lover?" Another reporter from the back asked. "I heard he committed suicide because of his Schizophrenia."

Aikawa was about to rebut that statement but someone else spoke before her. "He probably was. Most of his stories were dramatic and too dark and tragic, and he is also an author of BL. So he's obviously gay."

_He may be gay but he wasn't crazy._

"You know what? There was a group somewhere around Tokyo that said they wanted him dead. His stories were 'Too Realistic' and scared the hell out of them. One of his novels had something to do with religious factors; maybe that's why they freaked out. (1) Plus they said Usami-sensei is a scary man."

_He wasn't scary, just hard to deal with…_

"Well, personally I didn't like some of his books either." Now the press was going into their own conversations. Aikawa could only stand there helplessly as the press insulted her boss.

_Stop talking about him like this! He was a great man; don't speak another word like this!_

"Who cares that he died, at least there is actual news going around in the city."

This was the last straw. Aikawa slammed her hand down onto the podium, causing silence around the room. At first her bangs covered her eyes, but she flipped them aside only to reveal anger. "You bastards don't know what you're saying!"

Isaka stood up to calm her down. "Aikawa, hold on a second-

"I will not! Do you hear what these people are saying about him?! No more rumors! It's time to hear the truth!"

"Usami Akihiko was and is still a great man! His reason for his death is very simple, he was in love! Exactly one month ago he and his lover Takahashi Misaki broke up for unknown reasoning's! Two days later Usami-sensei started to date someone Misaki-kun never wanted his ex-lover to date, his Sempai! I was always there and I could sense the agony that Misaki-kun had to go through, watching Usami-sensei holding another man, it was just disgusting!

"Two weeks later Misaki-kun couldn't take it anymore. He wrote a suicide note, apologizing for what he as done, but he has done nothing wrong! He believes that he is only a burden to society and to Sensei, so he overdosed himself with sleeping pills! We found out a day later, we found him dead! No one understood why this fragile boy would do such a thing, but he did anyway! He was not a burden, he was just fine!

"And you know what else? He was still in love with Sensei! He wrote in his note that he did this because he wanted the pain to stop! The pain of seeing the only man he loves being taken by another so close to him! He wrote over and over 'Make it stop! I want the pain to stop!' And look, it stopped because he's dead!

"But it just got worst from there! Usami-sensei couldn't take the thought of Misaki-kun being dead, because he was still in love with him too! It couldn't take the thought of Misaki-kun being gone from the earth, gone and to never return, so exactly one week ago, he shot himself in front of Misaki-kun's grave!

"So that is why he died! Not because of a mental illness, not because of fame, it was because of love, LOVE! Of course you bastard haven't heard of love in your life! All you care about is a damn story, not caring that he's dead and gone! And as of right now, this press conference is OVER!"

Aikawa then stomped her way out of the room, the press still calling at her and Isaka following. The two made their way out of the building and sat on the staircase. "You know, you might get sued by their families for revealing such information." Isaka pointed out.

"As long as _I_ take the blame I'm okay." She then stood up and placed her hand on her forehead, realizing she has a headache.

"Do you think this is what Akihiko wanted?"

She didn't turn around as she answered. "I don't know." Still not turning back, she walked all the way back into her home, tear free.

Eri Aikawa was a grown woman; she was not going to cry.

Not here.

Not now**.**

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Later that evening the editor stood in her kitchen counter cutting up some food. She stared at the knife, its shining silver blade sharp enough to cut almost anything. Trembling, she held the knife up to her throat as she mumbled. "I'll see you soon Sensei."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

That voice! It was deep and husky, the one voice she wanted to hear once again. Aikawa dropped the knife as she turned around to find Usami Akihiko sitting on her couch, looking at a pile of papers. "Oh dammit, I made a spelling mistake here and here…" He was skimming through the last pile of manuscripts before his time.

Aikawa slowly walked up to the man, her hands covering her mouth. It can't be, Akihiko was dead, she saw his body in the morgue, and he was dead. "S-sensei… how… when…"

Akihiko turned around and smiled, yes, smiled at her. For the first time in years he smiled to her. "So how was your day?"

"Sensei!" she reached over to hug him, but he pulled back, causing her to flinch in surprise.

"Sorry, I rather not be touched by a woman."

_That's right, he's gay. My touch would just burn him…_ "Sensei, I-I'm so glad that you're still alive!"

Akihiko only chuckled. "Alive? No, I'm dead. I shot myself in front of Misaki's grave, remember? By the way, Misaki says hi, but he's visiting Takahiro at the moment. We both made up here in the after life actually! It's a funny thing; all we needed to do is talk. We made up and now we could be together forever."

She could feel herself tremble in fear. The room was suddenly cold. "N-no, you're sitting on my couch, you're alive!"

"I'm sorry, but I am dead, I just wanted to say a proper goodbye to my favorite editor." Akihiko has never praised her directly. Now is a good time, his only time. "Thank you for your speech at the conference, I just hope Takahiro doesn't sue for all that information being spilled about Misaki!"

_His sarcastic tone, I want to hear that tone once again…_ "Haha… I-I hope not… I-I don't have all the money even though I work for you…" _Please, respond to my statement in a sarcastic voice._

"_Worked_for me…"

"S-sensei, why are you here? Why are you telling me this? S-should you visit your brother?"

Akihiko shook his head. "I wanted to talk to someone important, not as important as Misaki though but you were the right choice!"

_That's right, he should be speaking to Takahiro, or Hiroki. Why me? What did I do to see his ghost?_ "But, I'm nothing more than your editor! Why, out of all people, would you want to talk to me last?! W-what am I to you?!"

The dead author didn't answer her question, but responded. "Look at your counter." He pointed back to the kitchen. She ran to find a green apron spread across the granite with a pair of glasses in the middle.

"W-wait… this is…" she looked back at her boss.

"Yes, this is Misaki's apron and my reading glasses. Misaki wanted you to have it, since you've always bought him treats. And my glasses… well… Japan would only remember me because of my novels… I want you to remember me with something more personal…"

Now, Aikawa sank to the floor, clutching the apron and the glasses close to her heart, crying. "But why me?! Why am I to keep these?! Please answer me!"

Akihiko stepped forward, stepped, but with no sound. He kneeled before her, but didn't touch her. "We both trust you the most. I trust the most, always have, and always will."

Aikawa held the apron and the glasses tighter, as if she lets go Akihiko could take it all back. "S-sensei, y-you have to m-make me a promise…"

"Anything…"

At first she didn't answer, she looked away and covered her eyes with her bangs. But then she looked up, her eyes red and tears still cascading from her beautiful face. "N-never leave Misaki again! Always be together! Forever even in the afterlife! Always make him happy, and always make him smile! And if you don't… I'll kill myself and track you down and hurt you…"

The room was quiet; the only sound being heard was her sobs. Akihiko reached out and patted her head, like he always did to Misaki. He smiled once again and whispered in that husky tone of his own. "Of course I will." He then lifted her chin and wiped a tear away. "A grown woman like you shouldn't cry over a man like me."

_You could never call me pretty, or cute or beautiful, but I'm okay with that. It was your personality that made me fall for you. (2)_

Seconds later, the sound of wind chimes echoed thorough the room. "I have to go, take care of yourself Aikawa. Keep on editing the manuscripts. I guarantee there is going to be another person out there with a much better writing talent than me."

_No, your writing is the only one I prefer! I only want to read yours! I'll only read yours! _

"Good bye. I really will miss your screaming at me… I will." He turned around and started to walk towards the window. Aikawa wanted to stand up and chase after the one many she respected, the one man she would bow down to if she wasn't the one yelling, the one man whom she trusted.

A flash of light ran through her window, and suddenly disappeared. When things cleared up, Aikawa was the only one in her home; darkness surrounded her as she clutched the fabric and the glasses. Once again, Eri Aikawa broke down in tears, sobbing their names out.

"Sensei! Misaki-kun!"

Takahashi Misaki: He was only 20 when he committed suicide. He had an over does of sleeping pills, letting him sleep forever. Misaki was never the smartest man, but he was the kindest. He thought about others first and only wished other's happiness. But not receiving that happiness of his own led to his own death.

Usami Akihiko: The great author was 30 when he committed suicide too. Standing at Misaki's grave, he shot himself with a pistol, the bullet going straight, in and out of his head. Akihiko was never the social type, always procrastinating, and hated people. If you had met him and known him, you would think that he's a real jerk. But, now seeing his ghost, Aikawa thought differently. He really did care, and it was too late to show it. Misaki's death led to his own, causing everyone grief and sorrow.

Aikawa held the two items that no one else would hold, not for money or for a threat. These two items were now hers, and they always will be. Akihiko's words burned and scarred her heart. At that moment, she would give up anything just to see her boss again, just to see Misaki again. She never said a proper goodbye but instead scream for them to come back. But she knew that it was not possible. It was a wish too much that even God cannot grant.

But there was one thing that she could wish, or pray for. She prayed that the two would be happy, together forever. Their love will not be separated in heaven, or hell or where ever they were. She just wanted to see them both smile, and live happily ever after…

Now it was the time for tears. It was okay to cry.

Right here.

Right now…

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Author's Note: I always found Aikawa as an unappreciated character. Sure you may find her in some fanfictions, but never her own story. I'm actually currently writing another story with her and Risako. Kind of obvious what the relationship might be. Sorry for Akihiko's character, it was so out of place…  
Anyway, I cried while writing this. There has been a few stories of Romantica deaths (Egoist is the popular one for that category) and I've always wondered, what would Aikawa be thinking? She's a character in the story and deserves something of her own. I hope this was a good one and that people would start writing more about her. Aikawa is a very good character. I apologize for any grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes. I received the new MS Word 2007 and it's hard to work with.

(1) One of his novels had something to do with religious factors; maybe that's why they freaked out.- I'm not sure if Akihiko ever wrote a story based on religious factors, but he's written a lot. Correct me if I'm wrong here.

(2) _You could never call me pretty, or cute or beautiful, but I'm okay with that. It was your personality that made me fall for you._- I'm not exactly referring that Aikawa was in love with Akihiko, but love like in respect, and she would always be there.

And I'm not exactly sure what the Japanese believe in, the whole Heaven or Hell thing, or if homosexuals go to hell, that's why I made Akihiko say 'afterlife'. May someone tell me how it works? So please review!


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